There’s a growing wave of interest in emotional intelligence.
More people are asking deeper questions. Exploring healing. Understanding the “why” behind their behavior.
One concept that comes up often is Inner Child Healing—the idea that our childhood shapes how we show up as adults.
It’s powerful.
But in many conversations, I’ve noticed a slippery slope:
We start reflecting—and end up blaming.
“My mom didn’t protect me.”
“My dad was emotionally unavailable.”
“My entire worldview was shaped by their dysfunction.”
And suddenly, the conclusion becomes: “It’s their fault.”
But let’s pause. Really pause.
Yes, childhood wounds are real.
Yes, many of us grew up with dysfunction we didn’t recognize then.
But is it fair to now place the entire blame on our parents?
Most of them didn’t have access to therapy or coaching.
They didn’t grow up watching videos on emotional regulation or healing trauma.
They were doing what they believed was best—often while fighting their own silent battles.
As psychologist Alice Miller once wrote, healing begins when we acknowledge the pain of the inner child—but it cannot stop there. It must evolve into understanding, not blame.
Many parents may have lived with untreated depression.
Yet they showed up, day after day, for us.
Not perfectly—but with the tools and awareness they had.
Inner Child Healing is not about casting blame.
- It’s about understanding your story—so you can rewrite it with clarity and compassion.
- It’s about seeing patterns, not villains.
Emotional intelligence, as described by Daniel Goleman, is not about labeling others—it’s about developing self-awareness, empathy, and ownership.
Let’s cut our parents some flak.
Healing isn’t a courtroom. It’s a conversation—with yourself, your past, and those who shaped it.
Stop blaming. Start understanding.
You deserve healing. But they deserve grace.
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As a coach, I help emotionally aware professionals move forward—not by digging endlessly into the past, but by choosing new patterns consciously, with compassion.
If that’s where you are in your journey, let’s connect.
