I recently watched Michael, the film that follows Michael Jackson’s life through the years leading up to the Victory Tour. I expected to come away thinking about his music and career. Instead, I found myself thinking about loneliness, childhood patterns, freedom and the ways in which our past can continue to shape us long after our circumstances have changed.
These thoughts are inspired only by what the film chose to portray. They are not an interpretation of Michael Jackson’s actual life, relationships or motivations, which were undoubtedly far more complex than any film can capture.
What interested me were the very human patterns behind the story — the need for connection, the influence of childhood experiences, our search for freedom and the difficulty of changing responses that may have been with us for a long time. These are themes that come up often when we think about emotional wellness, personal growth and life coaching, irrespective of how successful or accomplished someone may appear from the outside.
You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. The film shows someone constantly surrounded by family, musicians, managers and eventually millions of fans, and yet often emotionally alone. He seems to find comfort in his animals, his work and the world he creates through music. It reminded me that loneliness is not always about the absence of people. Sometimes it is about the absence of a space where we feel fully seen, understood and free to be ourselves.
Sometimes we create in adulthood what we once needed ourselves. Michael’s childhood is portrayed as highly disciplined and centred around performance, while his adult world becomes increasingly associated with children, animals, imagination and play. Whether or not that reflects the reality of his life, the idea itself is deeply human.
Someone who grew up without much reassurance may become very caring towards others. Someone who experienced financial insecurity may put extra effort into creating security. Someone who felt unheard may become passionate about giving others a voice. Our past does not determine us, but it can leave a strong imprint on what we seek, value and give to others.
This does not have to become an exercise in blaming parents or childhood. I have written earlier about why inner child healing should not become parent blaming. Early experiences influence us, but adulthood gives us the opportunity to notice those influences and decide what we still want to carry forward.
Success does not automatically change childhood patterns. One of the most striking contrasts in the film is between Michael’s enormous professional confidence and his difficulty in standing up to his father. It is a useful reminder that confidence does not always transfer neatly from one part of life to another.
Someone can be exceptionally capable at work and still become uncertain in one particular relationship. Old relationships can bring back old roles surprisingly quickly.
One idea from my coaching training that I often return to is that we respond not simply to reality, but to our internal “map” of reality, shaped by our experiences, beliefs and associations. This is one reason why external success does not necessarily change an old internal response.
Freedom can find its way out somewhere else. The film suggests that Michael’s longing for freedom found expression through his art. Music, movement, imagination and performance became places where he could create his own world.
Most of us do something similar in quieter ways. We write, travel, work, exercise, create, garden or build businesses partly because these spaces allow us to experience something that may feel harder to access elsewhere.
The more useful question is whether those spaces are enriching our lives or whether they have become the only places where certain parts of us are allowed to exist.
Sometimes disruption makes us question what we have tolerated for years. After the accident shown in the film, Michael appears to begin looking at his life and choices differently, and the Victory Tour eventually becomes a point where he starts defining his own direction. It reminded me of an earlier piece I wrote, Shift Happens When Shit Happens.
A health scare, a job loss, a relationship ending or a business setback can make us question things we may have accepted for years. What actually matters to me? Whose expectations am I still trying to meet? What would I choose differently now?
The good news is that we do not always need a crisis before we ask these questions.
As a Life Coach, I often see that personal growth begins not with changing everything, but with becoming aware of patterns that have become automatic. Coaching can help us understand what those patterns may once have been doing for us, whether they still serve us today and what other choices may now be available.
One principle from my training that I frequently come back to is that having more choices is better than having no choice. Growth is often less about becoming a completely different person and more about recognising that the person we are today has choices that the person we once were may not have had.
Perhaps the question worth carrying away is:
Is there an area of your life where the person you are today is still being guided by a pattern created by the person you once were?
How I Can Help
I work with professionals, leaders and individuals who are navigating change, difficult decisions, emotional blocks or patterns they want to understand better. My coaching approach draws on my own corporate and entrepreneurial experience as well as structured coaching frameworks and techniques from my training. The focus is on helping clients gain clarity, recognise what may be holding them back and identify practical, sustainable ways forward.
If you feel that an old pattern, relationship dynamic or life transition is keeping you stuck, you can connect with me to explore whether coaching may be useful for you.
